On the outside, I try to project an image of having it all together. But underneath that, I'm kind of a disaster. Hence... the name of the site: GlossyVeneer. Alright, continuing the saga…
I went to the eye doctor Tuesday morning. They did a quick run through where I covered my left eye (the good eye) and had me read a few lines of random letters. I could actually see the first two sets and read them back correctly, but when they shrunk the letters to the third level I struggled and by the fourth level I was completely illiterate. (I told them that every letter was an O or some derivative of that shape.)
So instead of going through the whole pain of trying to dial in a prescription, they took me back to see the ophthalmologist. The doctor took a look and said, “Well, the surface of your eye is better but it’s still pretty messy. The whole thing is mystifying. You’re sure you didn’t wear your contacts at all?”
I gave him a severe look and said, “NOOOOO…. I didn’t wear my contacts at all.”
He looked apologetic, “I didn’t think you had. There’s a possibility that you’ve caught some kind of virus in your eye and that you just have to wait it out. But the reality is that with the steroids we’ve had you using, we need to wean you off those before we can even consider a contact lens fitting anyway. So let’s have you cut back to 3 times a day this week, then 2 times a day next week, then 1 drop a day the following week. After that we’ll have you come back in and hope things are better.”
Hope…. I’m placing my vision on Hope.
Well, hope and preservative-free moisturizing eye drops along with decreased steroid use.
I asked him about things I had read online about patching or contact-bandages. He said that he doesn’t think those would be beneficial in my case.
The truth is that I can tell improvement, but that ONLY came after I took the initiative on my own to patch my eye. Information found online said that the fresh, healing cells need to adhere and constant blinking motion could push them away before they have a chance. So I spent a weekend walking around my home like a pirate. I hated it, but I didn’t see any improvement until I had gone through that process.
It’s hard to want to switch doctors now because I have actually seen a slight improvement. But at the same time, I kind of wonder if the doctor is just telling me something to collect his fee and push me out of his office. He’s the doctor that I was “assigned” to after my previous ophthalmologist moved away. It’s not like I “selected” him… but then I don’t “select” any of my health care providers. I just try to do the best I can with having insurance from an out-of-state employer to find someone that takes my insurance and isn’t on the other side of town.
I stress about how much we have to spend on my health care lately. My mental health and physical health. I’m sure that stressing over these things doesn’t help my body heal. I’m not as stressed over these things as I used to feel. I have definitely improved my ability to cope with difficult times, but it’s still occupying a prominent spot in my brain. I feel like I’m falling apart lately, a walking disaster!
But I guess I will follow his orders, with a little supplemental patching of my own (It is Halloween, I can even venture out in public and pretend that I’m just dressing up!) and see what the appointment in another 3 weeks reveals.
