On the outside, I try to project an image of having it all together. But underneath that, I'm kind of a disaster. Hence... the name of the site: GlossyVeneer. I made a whole list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30. Several lists, actually. I chronicled those items here on my blog and had a blast doing so. After my 30th birthday I seriously considered coming up with a more condensed list of things to do before turning 31. Yet, I kept drawing a blank. Nothing felt right.
My 31st birthday was a couple weeks ago and looking back on the year… I don’t think I could have come up with a list that could compete with the actual list of things that happened. So if I were to write a list, based on what actually happened perhaps it would have read like this:
- Finish my 2nd marathon, take more than an hour off my previous time.
- Earn my first DNF (Did Not Finish) in my 3rd marathon after tripping, falling and getting stitches
- Check myself into an Intensive Outpatient Program for 10 weeks for my eating disorder.
- Win a major contest that will fly me to Washington D.C. with my mom.
- Become an adult kid of divorce
- Check myself back into outpatient treatment for my eating disorder
It’s been a hard year, but overall I hope that these trials will help me become a stronger individual. Some of the things that have seemed particularly bad will actually be good things in the long run. It’s hard to see that as they’re happening, but I’m starting to recognize the more positive significance than the negative.
So for the future, I think I’ll come up with a list of things to do before I turn 40… but I need to be receptive to things that might come up within a year and not be too fearful that they don’t fit into my “life plan”, simply because a life plan can only take you so far.
Often it’s the unplanned that really mold and shape us as a human being.
