On the outside, I try to project an image of having it all together. But underneath that, I'm kind of a disaster. Hence... the name of the site: GlossyVeneer. My dentist was able to squeeze me in today so I could get my retainer fixed. I’m so glad, because these past couple days? Eating has been a real pain in the ass. (Well, truthfully… it’s been a pain in the gums and tongue. The retainer actually had no affect on my ass.)
I sat down in the chair and noticed a big flat-panel TV mounted on the wall in front of the chair, which I immediately interpreted as “Damn! I am definitely giving this place too much money!” And then Roxy, the cute little 18-year-old dental assistant, came in and said, “What do you want to watch on TV?” I responded that I didn’t care as I really didn’t plan on being there long enough to get into a show. So she turned it to MTV, a channel that I haven’t truly watched in years. I know of the shows they broadcast, but I don’t actually watch any of them. I think she said we were watching “The Hills”, but I’m not sure.
Anyway, the dentist came in and said, “The retainer popped off again, huh? I think we’ll just try re-bonding it another time. If it comes off again, then we’ll remove it for a couple weeks and order a completely new piece, okay?”
Whatever… just make it so I can actually bite into food again.
And somehow, the 15 minute process of sanding down the spot and rebonding the retainer in place managed to cause such a mess that it required about 45 minutes of work on my part to scrub down my face, removing weird hard particles from my eyebrows, eyelashes, crusted around my nostrils and rinsing the grit from my eyes.
I think dentists are all evil. It doesn’t matter how nice and friendly they are, they all must get some kind of sick fulfillment of making people feel like fools. Either covering them in guck or requiring they answer questions while their mouth is full of gauze, tools and other people’s hands… it’s always such an odd experience. And I love that all my interactions with his office staff consist of me being covered in some kind of debris or having my mouth numbed to a state where comprehensible speech is impossible.
But I am so grateful the retainer is fixed… for now.
