On the outside, I try to project an image of having it all together. But underneath that, I'm kind of a disaster. Hence... the name of the site: GlossyVeneer. I’m self-conscious about my appearance. What woman doesn’t want to look nice? (Or man, for that matter… let’s not be too gender-biased!) And lately I’ve been feeling even more awkward for several reasons (some of which I’m still grappling with about disclosing on the blog).
I look on in envy as other bloggers post photos of themselves, seeming so self-assured, gutsy, confident and all of them are so lovely! And that’s part of the reason why I did my dumb little Photo Booth challenge last year and I am attempting it again this December. Taking daily photos of myself using Photo Booth on my Macbook makes me record a small segment of my life and hopefully stop looking at myself with such a critical eye. Instead of noticing every little flaw that is probably imperceptible to others, and instead looking at myself as a “whole”.
So when OMSH issued a challenge to post a photo of yourself making a funny face, I took a deep breath and told myself that I should do that. Plus it would give me something to use for my daily Photo Booth pic.
So there it is: big, bold and right out there for everyone to giggle over. Go ahead and giggle, it makes me chuckle too. And I’m starting to like the picture. Not because I think, “Wow.. that photo makes me look beautiful.” but more because I think, “Wow… that photo makes me look like a fun and goofy person.”
And I really am a fun person, I’ve just morphed into a much more reserved version of that person as I deal with all my troubles (many self-imposed burdens that I really shouldn’t have to carry) and I want to get back to the more carefree person I once was.
